Wednesday, February 8, 2006

I'm overwhelmed

Laying in bed, listening to Rilo Kiley, just pondering life. Like why Betsy who used to be one of my best friends now hates me. Being nervous about graduating and moving out. Thinking about going to visit Clint's family in San Diego. Somehow knowing he'll have like zero fun with me. I mean... I'll drink and smoke and party, but that's the limit of exciting things for me. I don't do theme parks... you know, anything fast paced. He's going to want to do all these things, he's crazy so.. crazy things. I'm such a home body, I don't do stuff that's crazy. I can lay on a beach, go swimming, stuff that's relatively low key. I don't like danger or trouble, and I don't like being scared. Oh well. I'm terrified to meet his family. Since I have major issues with meeting new people, and what their opinions of me are. I wish I could just not care, but that's not anywhere in my personality traits. I am the worrier, the obsessor, and one who plans out details in my head over and over so I don't miss anything. Of course, I forget nearly everything. I guess that's okay... not really. I have no idea how Clint and I work. I'm the studious writer who analyzes and over analyzes everything. He's a lazy jock who doesn't care about opinions and just goes with the flow. I am an anti-going with the flow kind of gal. Yet, despite the polarity within personalities it works. Not that we don't have our snags and bumps, but we get through them just fine. That's just what we'll do because we're engaged and that's awesome. Although I don't think our engagement is quite official since we aren't really telling anyone... we'll whatever, it's official to us and that's what matters the most.

School stresses me out! We have to do thirty hour internships... and since my professional choice isn't within public services -- the class focus program I'm in.. I have to do it with someone I know. Being either Dr. Alexander or Dr. Fiske or Laidlaw. I shall write them letters shortly. Graduation is approaching... in 15 days Clint and I will be 10 months into our relationship. Valentine's day is in six days, winter formal in three! I still am 'unable' to get my license. There's quite a bit on my plate if I do say so. Oh.. AP tests are in may. I have four classes, I'll probably only take three of the tests. AP Calculus scares me. Anyway, it's good night time!