3 days in...

Things you never thought you'd say until you have a baby... "Woo! We have poop!"

Poor little Oliver is having some issues feeding. I wonder about what they did for such things 100 years ago. I guess hand expressed and funneled it on down? Now we've got nipple shields and pumps and all kinds of things to help babies get the good stuff. Not to mention formula if they can't for whatever reason do so. Stupid nipples. As he's having such trouble I'm under instruction to feed the hell out of him this weekend (meaning pump and bottle feed instead of trying to rely on nursing alone) and I'm scheduled for another appointment at noon on Monday to check on his status and make sure he's regained his weight.

Other than that which has caused quite the stress all around, everything seems to be going smoothly. He sleeps so much it's not like there's much to do but set an alarm for every few hours, check his diaper, try and get him to eat, cuddle him, back to bed. Sleep when I'm sleepy, internets when I'm not. I've been pretty exhausted, go figure, and very sore from head to foot. Almost like I did a lot of work or something.

John is reacting to things about the way he said he would. No one believed him, not even me, and I married him... So here we are with John holding him only when necessary and/or to fake being human. He doesn't want to hold him or rock him or even stroke his head or kiss his adorable cheeks. Essentially, as far as parenting goes, at this stage I'm on my own. I think John feels bad though, which I guess is a good thing. He's being extremely supportive of me, making sure I have plenty to eat/drink, running errands, cleaning the house, doing laundry and coming to the appointments with me... I'm actually pretty worried about Monday when he's back to work and I have to face things on my own.

As for me, I feel... I'm not sure exactly. I love holding him and smelling him and cuddling and just looking at him. I get upset when he's upset, especially when it's due to someone else's intervention - like the doctors checking him out. I think I'm in a little over my head though, and no amount of knowledge can fix it. Perhaps that's the issue in the first place. For me, it's all very clinical almost. Step A, B, C. Everything you're supposed to do at this stage in development is pretty universally agreed upon (except for baby lotion, apparently) and so it's just following the guide books and calling it good. I imagine once there's play and choices in his upbringing and care it'll be different. What's best for Oliver, as opposed to what's best for baby.

I think that's what's led me to giving up the cats, knowing that it's best. The four of us in one small room isn't going to be healthy, especially when I'm sore and having issues just waddling around the house and putting on pants. Thank goodness our God mother's mom (God grandma?) is going to take them in. I'm not sure if she's doing it because she actually wants more kitties or as a favor to us, but...either way it works for me. She'll be able to provide them with a clean and safe home, take care of them, and give them plenty of love. Maybe if John turns into a real boy we can wiggle them back if she hasn't grown too attached. Here's hoping. Not likely unfortunately, but at least this way they're not going to some stranger on Craigslist or someone we'll never see.  Have I mentioned that along with being the best God mother ever, Melissa also comes with an awesome mom herself? Seriously, this family creation you guys...it's kind of unreal. Violet (Melissa & Josh's unborn daughter) is without a doubt going to be the most lucky kid out there.

Anyway, that's where we're at. Getting to know Oliver as he gets to know me. Hopefully he'll also get a chance soon to know his dad. You think the fact that Oliver is a John clone and so very his son (Mongolian spot and all) that there'd be something. . . Oh well, live and learn.

Thanks to all our visitors, and if anyone is planning on coming and wants to know what to bring us, we're pretty set on newborn clothes and the like. Dinners we can just reheat would be nice, and diapers are always in need :) Thanks for all the congratulations and support. I can't imagine trying to have done this all on our own.