Forbidden fruit

Forbidden fruit
you can't help but taste
Raw and carnal
unadultered by media
or social normalities

Feel soft lips,
butterflies covering
every inch of my
growing exposure of skin.

Hands graze
every spot
like they were meant
for me... even though
it could be anyone.

You tell me softly
that you can make up
for areas you lack;
scars that just won't fade

And you prove it
bending my will
to your very command
making me moan

with anticipation
I can't
won't
give in to primal demands.

Not yet.
Not now.

In time,
when your butterfly kisses
pierce my core -
when your mouth
on my veins breaks
all internal self consciousness

then
then I will become
yours

Day 2- Liquid Diet

Day one I definitely had some less than focused moments, although I did better without temptation from the husband... who, on day one of his liquid diet had yogurt, 4 slices of pizza, and a buffalo chicken thing from 7-11. Yeah... not exactly on board apparently. I still feel pretty good about the whole thing overall as it's a big transition. The bathroom and I have become BFFs...so... that's been... "fun".

Breakfast: Had a chocolate Slimfast. Less calories (180), way better taste than the Boost. Definitely felt the lower calories (half of what yesterday's breakfast was) as only a couple hours afterwards I was one hungry bear. Thinking this might be a better option if I'm feeling peckish in the later evening, or if I was going to be eating real food along with it (or double it up). Think I'll save the rest of that container for Friday and beyond when I can have real food. Made John drink his breakfast as he was planning on I guess just not eating as he was scared of the drink...but he finally gave in and said it was a similar experience to eating a chocolate PowerBar. He thinks that's a good option once we get done with this liquid phase, and they are often on sale for $1 each. As long as we're balanced, healthy, and around 1,000 calories, it's all good by me.

Lunch: Learned my lesson from yesterday, had a Strawberry Boost while watching an episode of Scrubs on Netflix in the car. Ah, the life. 240 calories.

Dinner: Chocolate Boost Plus. Didn't actually feel like I needed it, which was weird. Although John made it difficult because he kept raving about wanting steak, mushrooms, gyros, pizza, and... just about every other delicious sounding nom you could think of. 360 calories.

Non-liquid: 5 pieces of marionberry licorice. 1 rectangle of Symphony chocolate bar. ~200 calories.


Total Calories: ~980. Much better than yesterday, and officially 'low cal'. 2/3 of the way done with liquid only!

Day 1 - Liquid Diet

First day of three on a liquid fast diet.
No, not a master cleanse or a drinking only water and juice... I only have a tiny tiny amount of will power stored.
A drink only protein drinks and water and whatever else is liquid and either calorie free, or low in calories.

Breakfast: Still felt okay hunger wise this morning after our farewell pizza dinner. There was something oddly comfortable and familiar in the chalky chocolate of the protein meal drink.

Lunch: Wishing I would have brought a strawberry with me for lunch. Chalky chocolate can only take you so far. I had a couple pieces of marionberry licorice to get the taste out. A downfall, saying no to free Kettle Chips. How I love me some crispy goodness. No hunger, just a feeling of being... empty. Craving baby carrots and hummus... which is not what I expected to crave (see hamburger and french fries). Drinking lots of water and feeling a little sad that I have to wait two more days for a delicious steak.

Dinner: Strawberry flavor is actually tasty, not nearly as chalky as the chocolate. Still protein powdery, but not that bad. While out and about, Johnathan bought me a buffalo chicken thing from 7-11, and I ate it. That, and some spoon fulls of the best mint chocolate ice-cream ever.... that still counts as liquid, right? Okay, so not the best day. It is hard not having something to really sink your teeth into. No hunger pains, but just... emptiness.

Breakfast and Lunch: 360 calories each. Dinner: 240 calories. Cheats: ~400 calories. Total:  1360. Definitely not "low cal".

Oh and... having to go to the bathroom with urgency and frequency previously unseen without food poisoning. That's been fun.

Random Shit I Found On the Internet

Emma Stone being sexy -- http://beautiful-unfolding.tumblr.com/post/7196072035
A map you can scratch off where you've been -- http://www.kujishop.co.uk/productdetail.kmod?productid=3730
Best. Bedroom. Ever. http://udany.tumblr.com/post/4446286998/o-quarto-do-meu-filho-vai-ser-assim-xd
Perfect summer evening... let's pretend that's Top Gear playing http://arsvivendi.tumblr.com/post/5782942446
If I could somehow get away with / pull this off I would in a heart-beat (also Fishtail braid... how do they do that?) http://faashionforward.tumblr.com/post/5549460093
Sherlock Holmes adorableness http://thing-love.tumblr.com/post/5003045403/oh-the-love
Raw sex. http://thewakeupcall.tumblr.com/post/1560685528/so-hot-3
Awesome wedding http://fuckyeahweddingideas.tumblr.com/post/3732528179
Want. http://www.polyvore.com/cgi/set?id=29307273
Amazing, adorable, geek art http://www.etsy.com/shop/theGorgonist
Drinking. Geek style. http://www.thedrunkenmoogle.com/post/7829564863/squirtle-wartortle-blastoise-pokemon-shot-and

The Plan - Day 0

Flipping through Cosmo I usually see an ad for Almased, and the diet plan therein. Lose weight fast, boost your metabolism, yadda yadda yadda. After researching that, alternatives, and cheaper methods of such, as well as just scouring through the grocery store - here's the plan.

Three Day Liquid Only Fast

I decided on going with Nestle Boost Plus, Nestle Boost, and Slimfast to kind of get a variety in there  (that and Slimfast was on sale for $4 for a pack of 6). The drink requirements were pretty simple - stick to the Almased original in terms of having a balance of vitamins and minerals, be relatively low calorie, high protein. We looked at alternatives such as Spiru-tein, but decided that the best well rounded approach was found in already mixed drinks. For the first three days we're focusing on fasting, lowering caloric intake and improving digestive health. The Boost Plus is higher in calories and fat, but has a lot more fiber than others, so that's going to be the focus for the first two days.

Four Day Mostly Liquid

After our three day immersion is complete, we'll add in one meal per day. Lower in carbs, with good lean protein. We've picked up some nice lean cuts of steak, mushrooms, onions, and a salad mix. This is essentially Slimfast's 3-2-1 plan... minus the 3. I'm sure we'll add that in with greek yogurt, or fruits/nuts after the initial 7 day plan.

Our entire plan for the week plus cat food, laundry detergent, and some greek yogurt (just in case we get too terribly hungry) was $89. Not bad at all, considering we're used to spending $150+ per week on just food. With our bank account currently sitting lower than our rent check, and a wedding coming up John still needs to get his tux for... it's definitely good to budget. The Plus drink has 360 calories, so I'm not worried about getting less than needed nutrition of any kind. I'll be sure to update at the end of each day and let you know how it goes.

By focusing on balanced nutrition, easy to digest foods (for 3 days at least), we should be able to regulate blood sugar levels, increase metabolism, and cut out unnecessary calories. This is just my first toe dip into such things, as I've always been interested in, but afraid to try the Master Cleanse. Maybe after this, we can take a foray into that level of cleansing, if it's something deemed necessary. We might also go the Almased / Spiru-tein route at they are all natural, vegan alternatives whereas the Boost/Slimfast is a little more chemically contrived.

Before delving into this with both feet, we headed to Costco for a pepperoni pizza to say goodbye to the greasy, fatty, goodness.

End of April 2009

Never seen
someone look so good
by the pale glow
of a monitor

Never felt
such ecstatic joy
as fingers dance across
my keys

Never wanted
anything more
than to see you wrapped in
my mind's labyrinth

Never heard
someone speak
such mysteries
Tell me more

Never tasted
this poison so sweet
can't get enough
fill my cup

Never knew
what I do now
stumbling through
the lighted streets

So show yourself
Run your fingers
across my skin

Exist as you do
speaking sweetly
into my anxious ear

Make me crave you
with your mind meld
of pure ecstasy

you can do this
unlock my quaking fingers
jump into my senses
my world

From Thesaurus.com

I am:	worried
It's an:	adjective
Meaning:	anxious, troubled
See Also:	afraid, apprehensive, beside oneself, bothered, clutched, concerned, distracted, distraught, distressed, disturbed, fearful, fretful, frightened, hung up, ill at ease, nervous, on edge, on pins and needles, overwrought, perturbed, solicitous, tense, tormented, uneasy, upset, uptight, worried stiff
I am not:	calm, untroubled, unworried