Erections and Vomiting

Aah California. My beauty, my sweet, my paradise I long to remain in. Gorgeous and warm and salty and the best Mexican food ever - outside of Mexico that is. Let's start at the beginning, and when I get to the end - I'll stop.

I woke from my nap still very much tired, but that didn't matter. I drove to Fred Meyer to get my ness, and then to a MAX stop to pick up John and Az and go to Mat's. After idly discussing plans for moving we began to take part in extracurricular activities whilst John handcontrollered DDR. John then drove us to meet up with Az's sister for some boxes.

Az's sister is... not very Az-like, but fun I think. She did have a couple drinks in her - but I liked her well enough.

Back to Az's apartment for some last minute packing, some peoples came over - or rather person, yeah.... that person. So Az disappeared for a while.

Next day we got the car loaded up with Morgan, Az, and a trunk full of things. Off we go to Stream for final checks and good-byes. On to Winco for provisions, and hit the 5.

A lot of miles (and an averted crisis of me sleeping at the wheel) later, and some sweet pictures from Az - we arrive in NoHo at Colby's kick butt apartment. We nap, those long ass drives are tiring... upon awaking, we headed to In N Out. Nom nom nom. It was so sunny and amazing and fantastic.

We had planned on going to San Diego to fall in love with it all over again, and kidnapped Colby and Az for the ride. We were going to Sunset Cliffs, but barely missed it. So we check into the hotel room - with bunk beds!



Some Red Lobster nom Coconut Shrimp Candy... okay, it's not really candy - but it might as well be. Then we head back and Colby and John go on a run to the liquor store / heart to heart / apparently there was some giggity in nom-orifices...

We drink.
We turn in.
We giggle.
We sleep.

John wakes up to Az sleeping on the floor... what? Oh, apparently there was vomit dripping down the wall. Nice, that's classy. Haha. So we all get ready and pack up and head out. We go to a mall and wander (I got amazing board shorts and pink high-heels!) and eat (Nom Lamb curry-ness). Then we head to the boardwalk for some beach fun. God I love Cali! The beach is gorgeous the water warm - and it's March! We spend some time wading and enjoying the sun and surf and cute boys... then we head to the cliffs.



Some minor climbing and picturing and oogling later - we need some nom. So, we go and get amazing Mexican food from a little - like, permanent cart thing. So good. Sunset is over, we head back to NoHo (detour for most amazing Fry's with aquariums and shit) and take a nap while our clothes are becoming clean. Then it's back on the road again after saying goodbye to one of the few people in this world I've felt ... linked to? Something like that. I love her so much!



John drives for all of it and we talk about... well, literally everything. It was... I don't know if good is the right word or not because there still are unanswered questions which I will never ask - maybe I'll figure things out, maybe not. It was good I think though, overall. At least gave him some more insight into my point of view, something. Marco's Pizza is freaking amazing!

Once homeward we stopped at my grandma's to get some things before heading to "my" apartment. It will always be Az's in my mind.

This past week has taught me a lot. About plan "W." About living life as you want to, and not as society tells you to. Being able to leave on a whim, and feel deeply, and speak frankly (or as frankly as I can.) That just because society says something shouldn't happen, doesn't mean it won't. Just because I'm terrified doesn't mean that life will pause for me. Just because I'm shy, doesn't mean I'm not a puma.

I have values, beliefs, attitudes, and behaviors - all of which often contradict each other. I love the sun, the sand, the stars. I love the way your eyes crinkle when you smile. I love your artisticness and miss your soul being in the same state as mine. With the two of you I somehow feel completely complete, invincible, and totally okay with myself. I am strange, I am irrational. I don't make sense, and most of the time I don't care. I am afraid of everything - and I mean that. I need to be in control, yet I love spinning out of it. I need to plan, yet have been plan W'ing it for a while now.

I do not want to go back to reality. This work thing right now feels like I am acting. I wish that everything monotonous could be done with (like school - blarg!) and I could get on living as I wish. I am happy teachers get spring/summer/winter breaks. I want to travel the world. I want to float in the clouds. I want to fly. I want to read your mind.

I'll leave you saying that I am content with my life, as much as I am amazed, dazed, confused, and bemused with it. I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow, let alone tonight. I don't know where I'll be in two weeks - or in 10, or in 52. All I know is that I wish I could have paused the time continuum - for just... one moment.

How I love you all my darlings

The past two days have been... so much fun! Kung-fu movie night was an epic success. Thank you dear Chue for that loverly idea. I honestly feel blessed to have people in my life that I can spend so many hours straight with and have a blast the entire time. 33 hours I spent straight with Az, Nate, and John. Well...not entirely straight, but damn near. The party was so much fun and drunk and groping it was fantastic. I thought, since I'm in a I love everyone mood I'd tell you all how I feel, or something, in brief -- or long if I feel like it. I really realized how lucky I am during the festivities, so I'll keep it contained to the people therein for simplification purposes. Yes, I can roll like that, it's my blog a'ight?

Az: Darling Azurell! You are such an amazing person. Quirky and fun and spunky. And you totally make me feel better with all the drama. I honestly never really thought that we would be as close as I consider us, but I so amazingly lucky to have you in my life. I feel like I can tell you absolutely anything about myself, my thoughts, my feelings, my everything. It just seems like you get it, or at the very least, you're not going to judge me for it. You are so amazingly talented I feel wittle next to you sometimes. You can draw, knit, sew, and write and everything - I wish you had more confidence in yourself so you could fully bring that talent to the world, we'd all be better for it. If you do end up moving, I will miss you so very much! You're rockstar #1

Tyler: Holy crap, love! You so aren't going to read this more than likely, but that's okay we'll convert you to twitter or something soon enough. Your passion that was ignited by punch n pi totally awestruck me. It really does amaze me the talent that can be found in our team. You're like killer funny, and like crazy smart. Maybe it was lack of Stream walls or presence of alcohol but you were like way super chill and amazing. Must join in more festivities!

Chue: Teehee Chue! You were so kung-fu fighting ... nothing, in the yard. Push ups or something. Hard fucking core. You were totally the inspiration for the funness and the love that went down. You're always so quiet and reserved, we totally need to thief you into more fun times as well b/c you totally rock my socks meng.

Scoot (opotumus) -- (Can't spell) Scoot, you're like for realzies cool. You totally can bring me out of my deepest emo pit, and somehow know just when I'm in a shallow pool or crazy deep well of emotion. With the hardcore drum rocking and the uber geekness, you're like wildly crazy. Scoot hugs are some of the best hugs and you always smell like fruit! Oh.. I mean... I totally hate you.. and your face - teehee. 

John - Dude, John I totally can tell you anything and feel like I can trust you like ... with my life or something, which is kind of weird. There's some sort of like...commonality or something that I totally get with the most random people it seems. Kindred spirit, but not at all. Az is totally one of those people too. Your randomness and openness, yet hesitation to really reveal anything is crazy intriguing and slightly aggravating. I totally want to open up your brain and throw it on a film reel. You totally live way out in the g to the etto but that's okay b/c I'll get you west side soon enough, somehow! 

N8 - You're totally off the wall my dear. Sometimes you're all shy little geek and other times you're like I'm going to grab your butt because I can. Although... how many times were you, and how many times were Az I'm not quite sure... You've introduced me to so many odd, fun, weird, and exciting things it's pretty epic. *cough* I'm wearing a shirt off woot.com atm. *cough* I would have not a clue as to twitter, woot, rick rolling, like anything without you. You give the best hugs and have just the right touch of emo in ya. Unless you get overly emo, but that's okay b/c then you're like me! Your flowchart made my day

Ike - You kind of hid away, but you totally deserve a block of text to you as well. I was totally expecting something different you being N8's twin and all, but you're totally your own unique awesomeness. Your film and such skills and knowledge are rad, and you're just so damn chill and relaxed it's totally no stress around you. Look forward to getting to know you more.

Mouse - Bow to the geekness that is mouse. Yay for the power of reformatting and crazy cool computer cases. You welcomed me to level three geekdom and opened my eyes to what I already knew but didn't know that I knew about all things geeky. And you took care of me when I vomited, and what's more friendship than that?

Colby - Wow, so as being the first time we hung out on an extend basis, love! You cock blocked the appropriate cocks and cuddled and totally made me feel awesome sauce. I totally see why everyone is in love with you up in these neck of the woods! You're silly and adorable and all sorts of fun. Too bad we won't really get to be like awesome sauce because you live in North Hollywood and all, but whenever you're here I hope we get to chill b/c it was awesomeness.

I love you all! And if there are grammatical errors, like me starting this sentence with and, I'm working with under an hour of sleep so you can suck it.

Hugs and kisses,

Smile and sunshine,

Stephie