Wow do I feel like poo.
Yes, that's my eloquent introduction. It's my realizing that I can't write anymore, that everything poetic in the world of prose has been completely ripped from my unyielding hands and deposited into the greater space of the world. The gifts I once held are being drained from me, even if ever so slowly. I hardly have the energy for anything but work anymore. As the sales are driven higher, the work becomes harder and more chaotic. It is better than doing nothing, though.... I think.
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Today I arise at an hour past noon, after dreaming that John was a vampire. He rescued my brother, he took me on the hunt. He was Lestat powerful, we flew around the world. The early morning sun did not harm him, and we watched the sunrise with love in our eyes. He worked during the daylight hours - at some place. I think in my dream it was Fry's actually. When it was dark, the night was ours. In the dream he accidentally killed a coworkers grandmother. He didn't accidentally kill her, but rather chose the wrong person. She was elderly, and sitting in the arm chair in a mansion of sorts, nodding off. Her white cat was curled up on her chest, and was indulging herself on her master's blood given forth from a small abrasion of her flesh.
I woke up as vampire John and I were swinging at a park watching the world around us turn from black, to grey, to pink and blue. The coworker was on his way to work and found his grandmother. He left us, crying. John decided to skip work and grab a plane to somewhere fun. I joined him.
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Life has been sort of hodge-podge of craziness lately. Wedding planning, identity crises, working. I'm in a whirlwind and having trouble getting out. I cannot wait until Friday (first day of my weekend). Thursday will be my sixth day working straight. Lame.
I asked John if he wanted Emily to come to the wedding. He wasn't sure, and thought that he shouldn't even tell her he was getting married. I told him it would be a bigger slap in the face to not tell her and have her find out later that he went and got married and didn't even mention anything to his best friend...or someone who once filled those shoes. Well he did call her, and I think he was just a big pile of awkward. Which makes me wonder... why was it such a big deal for him to let her know?
"why was it such a big deal for him to let her know? "
ReplyDeleteYou remember when you and John first strted dating, and you felt weird telling Clint that you had found someone else... It's a similar situation. It may be over between them, but telling her, he didnt know whether she would even care, whether he would break her heart, or something of the like. It was really weird for me to tell Justin that I was with Danny... it's just hard to tell someone who once had your heart that another now has it, and its for real this time. So dont worry about girly, its normal.