I'm married!

Well, I suppose my wedding blog is now finished. There is nothing left to write in its "pages". For we did it! The madness, the tears, the sweat that went into this wedding I think have left a far longer lasting impression on me than the wedding day itself. I can never thank my bridesmaids enough. Thank you for traveling from so far, only to have to support me, wrangle groomsmen (and the groom!) build bouquets, and create a wedding from nothing. I guess I'll break it down here to remember as much of it as I can... so much happened so quickly on so little sleep that I'm sure I will leave much out.

Monday: I had to get up at 5:00am to go to work to train people to do my job while I was away. I went to sleep at 3:00am. In a daze I ran over the tools, the procedures... the wedding.... I came home and memorized my vows. Then we had to pick up the house and we went and saw Inception. Went to be at 4:00am I think.

Tuesday: Woke up at 7:00am. Washed sheets and made the futon for guests. Set out towels and things in guest bathroom. Then we went to go get James so we could all go pick up Tiffany from the airport. Emma peed everywhere on the plane, the Houston airport lost Emma's stroller, madness! Kayla somehow ended up in Vancouver trying to get to the airport.... so we drove out there to meet her and drop off Emma. We all then went back into Beaverton and met up with Brittany while the boys... got their groomsmen attire. Tiffany, Brittany and I went and got our nails and eyebrows done, spray tans, purchased hair dye, and went to my grandma's to go start working on flowers. Then we came home, hung out for a bit and went to Montage for dinner. John, Brittany, and I then went back to my place and watched an episode of True Blood before crawling into bed in the wee morning hours.

Wednesday: Up at 7:00am, getting ready to go. Tiffany arrived from her night with James a little later. We ate some leftovers for breakfast and began our trek to weddingdom. Somewhere in there I dyed my hair, but I forget when... We went to David's Bridal to get my dress and garters, to Claire's for pretty bobby pins and a bracelet, to Winco for $70 in Jelly beans to fill shot glasses with (we still have sooo many - yay for overestimating!), and then I dropped Tiffany off to go pick up Az, and had Brittany stop by the Dollar Store to get ribbons for bouquets. When we were loading up the cars, John stops by to show me my wedding present. Her name is Jane and she is a glorious 1990 red convertible RX7. Ah the joy of FCs. We got everyone and thing together and headed out (late) to Seaside to check in to the Hillcrest Inn. The innkeep was a little... strange, but friendly. Our cottage was pretty spectacular. 2 bedroom, 1 bath, fully loaded kitchen area. We changed into some nicer clothes and headed to the beach to the rehearsal. . . only an hour and half late (sorry Grandpa!). We figured out walking and such, and then headed back to McMenamin's Sand Trap where we had the worst service ever. Then we went to Safeway and picked up some more alcohol for our girls night in. Once everyone was asleep apparently somethings happened... and I was woken at 5:30 by James coughing up a storm.

Thursday: Glass of OJ and back to bed til 9. When I woke up the bouquets were being done. (Thank you Az! and Brittany). Those got finished up and we got showered and doughnutted and headed out to set up the reception location. (After much harassing the boys to make sure they were awake after their Zombie stripper attacks and Oregon Coast bar hopping). We laid out the centerpieces and jelly filled shot glasses and bubbles and such. Then we went to breakfast at this place in Seaside.... I don't remember the name but they have deliciousness (and 3.95 biscuits and gravy all day). The service was apt and much better of a transition than dinner the night before. We then headed into Seaside again to get ready at my Grandma's hotel. So many people, and curling and bobby pins. Thanks to Tiffany for turning my face into something beautiful, my grandma and aunt Niki for creating my hair, and Az and Brittany for helping put on the finishing touches. Donned in a giant dress Azurell drove me to the wedding site. We tried to find a back entrance to our starting point, but ended up much farther down the beach and had to hike through the grassy dunes. When I got a glimpse of the ceremony site, I was blown away. White ribbon outlaying the aisle and site. A heart dug into the sand and laden with rose petals. The music started and it was time to go. I grabbed my grandmas hand and walked through the sand. John was so beautiful! When I arrived in the heart by his side, it was like no one else and nothing else mattered. We were together, and that's it. As we chattered away at each other, we realized that a wedding was happening, and there we were in the middle of it! Our vows were spoken, rings exchanged - a kiss. And we tromped back up the hill to take pictures. Thank you so much Brook and Samantha for capturing all that happened that day. John and I managed to have a bit of time alone as we waited for the chair rentals to be whisked away. We drove back up to the Sand Trap and were introduced to the crowd. Many hugs later we sat down for a delicious meal and drinks. A cake was cut, glasses were raised, toasts given, tears flowed. We danced in our awkward way and had our bridal party and family join us. A money dance was given (thank you Steve!) and then we returned to finish dessert. Chatting, a bouquet toss, a garter fling.... pictures and memories. The crowd dissolved, we counted our money, and headed to a hotel in Seaside - Rivertide Suites. I recommend it highly. 2 bedroom, 2 bath, a full kitchen, washer and dryer, jetted tub, living room, three flat screen TVs. . . John made us a giant bubble bath in the jetted tub and we drifted to sleep on pillows of down.

Friday: As the night was unprepared I had only my wedding dress to my name. I wore some of John's clothes as we went downstairs for breakfast, after figuring out how the toaster worked.... anyway, I called my grandma who was staying across the street and she came and took our things so we could zip back in my shiny new to me car. We drove with the top down in the sun, it was marvelous. We realized, we were married!

I married my friend, the person I can most be myself around. I love him more than anything else in this earthly existence. And, while we're not actually married - I realize most that it is what in your heart that makes a marriage. Nothing has changed. I am now introduced as wife (which was weird) and there are more rings on my finger. Catching a glimpse of John's hand shining makes me smile. Our day to day is the same. We wander around for things to do, drive around and hang out with people. We live, we love, we laugh. Once the bankruptcy goes through and we are finalized, when we go the city hall and make it so... I don't think anything will change then either (except our names).

Pictures are up on Facebook, once I get CDs of them I'll probably post them all together on some other photo hosting site.

Thank you to all that helped make this work, who provided the monetary means, the flowers, the carpooling, the bouquet making, the food providing, the everything! Thanks to the catering staff at Sand Trap for creating a wonderful room for us to be in.

Thank you John, for loving me.

<3

ups and downs

After three... four days of agonizing debating, screaming, crying, and general not fun times I think that we have come to an okay point once again. Apparently we are doomed to have epic battles every so often to keep the peace the rest of the time.... or something. I'm not sure exactly why we fight the way that we do when our answers are always the same. Differing perception. Two views arguing toh-may-to toh-mah-to. It's all quite real and horrible and frustrating and confusing and painful... but it's also ridiculously benign and silly. Yes, we were on the verge of calling of everything. After further discussions today, however, I think we came to realize that John can be wrong. . . Wait that wasn't it? Well... close enough. Now on to happier things... wait, that's wedding related! Post over on the wedding blog see you there!

Autumn's here!

It is officially autumn! Hurray to the changing leaves, the rain, and the calming of the nerves and softening of the tummies. I brought the season in tonight with the most amazing group of people. The fire smell, the crisp air, the pretty dress, the lovely people... it was perfect (except for missing one very important person who stayed home and ...?)

I cannot explain how much I love my friends. Even ones I don't know all too terribly well, like Brook and Ike are still fantastic and I would miss them greatly if they were ever removed from such events/circles/etc.

I played Scribblenauts for quite a long while. It was amazingly fun and yet aggravating.

I should be in bed right now, as I have to be at work in 7.5 hrs... but I cannot sleep for thoughts mulling in my head.

I realized that there are people who love me, who love John, and are happy to see us together. I mean... I knew that before, of course, but for some reason it just clicked tonight on how much this is the case.

I realized that if it were up to me to pick who the best man would be, it would have been someone there tonight -- not someone who completely is against John and I getting married in the first place. Those people are more John's friends than Corey has shown himself to be in the last six months... and I don't think that's going to change. If anything Corey and John will fall further apart and John and the boys will grow closer together. Oh, and boys, I am not object to this being facilitated by you either....

When a friend says that they'll do whatever I need/want them to, it's pretty fantastic. Because of who I know, I'm getting pictures, cake, and video for my wedding for free. Well, I'll have to pay for the development of pictures and an album and what not...but otherwise yeah. I could get a band as well, probably. I am blessed to know such talented people.

Actually, I wonder if Trevor will make it, I'd love nothing more than for him to play for us.

The boys planned out an adorable bachelor party for John. Even though he is opposed to the idea of having such a party, hopefully they can trick him into it.

We're getting sent off for the evening with a Roman candle salute. Apparently it only takes four people to make a fantastic show that would bring to tears to my newly married eyes I'm sure.

Downside of tonight, a firework landed on my pretty sundress and now there is a circular smudge of... gunpowder/ash/burn that I don't know if I'll be able to undo.

I believe that the wedding planning has for the most part commenced. We need finishing touches on colors, and that's it. The rest is just saving money for the tulling, chairs, arch, flowers, food, and suit/tux rental.

I know, I know...there's a blog for that, but still it's important in the events of the evening. They interweave.

Anyway ... I love you Nate, Ike, Mouse, Brook. I am in love with you Johnathan Addison.

I am starting to feel like things are in an upswing. . . it's kind of scary.

Oh well, at least we have Corey to fight about to keep drama... I mean how is he going to give a speech if he doesn't think John and I are right for each other and doesn't want John to marry me at all ever...?

Have to be AT work in 7 hours....
Goodnight!

I'll blog for the hell of it

Wow do I feel like poo.

Yes, that's my eloquent introduction. It's my realizing that I can't write anymore, that everything poetic in the world of prose has been completely ripped from my unyielding hands and deposited into the greater space of the world. The gifts I once held are being drained from me, even if ever so slowly. I hardly have the energy for anything but work anymore. As the sales are driven higher, the work becomes harder and more chaotic. It is better than doing nothing, though.... I think.

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Today I arise at an hour past noon, after dreaming that John was a vampire. He rescued my brother, he took me on the hunt. He was Lestat powerful, we flew around the world. The early morning sun did not harm him, and we watched the sunrise with love in our eyes. He worked during the daylight hours - at some place. I think in my dream it was Fry's actually. When it was dark, the night was ours. In the dream he accidentally killed a coworkers grandmother. He didn't accidentally kill her, but rather chose the wrong person. She was elderly, and sitting in the arm chair in a mansion of sorts, nodding off. Her white cat was curled up on her chest, and was indulging herself on her master's blood given forth from a small abrasion of her flesh.

I woke up as vampire John and I were swinging at a park watching the world around us turn from black, to grey, to pink and blue. The coworker was on his way to work and found his grandmother. He left us, crying. John decided to skip work and grab a plane to somewhere fun. I joined him.

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Life has been sort of hodge-podge of craziness lately. Wedding planning, identity crises, working. I'm in a whirlwind and having trouble getting out. I cannot wait until Friday (first day of my weekend). Thursday will be my sixth day working straight. Lame.

I asked John if he wanted Emily to come to the wedding. He wasn't sure, and thought that he shouldn't even tell her he was getting married. I told him it would be a bigger slap in the face to not tell her and have her find out later that he went and got married and didn't even mention anything to his best friend...or someone who once filled those shoes. Well he did call her, and I think he was just a big pile of awkward. Which makes me wonder... why was it such a big deal for him to let her know?

there's a wedding blog.

I've made a wedding blog!

I am addicted to blogs.
I tend to write a lot.
You don't have to read all my wedding garbage unless you want to, but can still read my other garbage.

I will do my best to keep wedding stuff off here, and life stuff off the wedding one.

Yay organization!

New blog can be found: http://girlytechwedding.blogspot.com/