Friday, April 30, 2010

you can take me as I am.

I got a lot, well.... a lot for me I guess, of attention on my last post. I guess it came across stronger than anticipated. However, perphaps that was for the best. For no matter how much I scream into the world that things need to change - here we are spinning in the same circles.

I am still being made out to be the bad guy, when I am not. I am still treated like a child, yet expected to behave as an adult. I am used, I am taken for granted. It appears the honeymoon phase is over and we are laying out bare and naked in front of each other. It seems we are not liking what we see.

If you don't like me, that's totally okay. A lot of people don't like me. I'm too blunt, too demanding, too in control of myself for most to handle. That's fine. You can leave, and I will understand. I want you to stay. I beg of you to realize that while volatile I am so very easily made docile. If you are what I need, you will have zero complaints of me. Of this, I am certain. I may be demanding, but if my needs are met I am the most loyal, passionate, caring and basically fabulous person you will ever meet. I will make sure you have what you need, and more.

However, I am not able to make something out of nothing. I cannot make your perfect universe without a single drop of star dust or basic elements of life. I can have a relationship balanced perfectly and obtaining peace and passion in abundance - but it does take two people to form this relationship. It requires my partner to be able to step up to the standards I have, which I am also willing to give.

If you were looking for someone subservient, this I will never be. I will stay home and work on the house and raise our children, but you will never be my master. I do what I do in my life of my own volition. I am broken by how much I have had to serve you. I am broken that you have become the master, and I - yours. I want to be yours, but only in the same breath that you are mine.

I will work for you, if you work for me. I cannot survive in the way things are balanced. I will not thrive being someone that works to take care of someone else that is perfectly capable of supporting themselves. I've done it before... look where that relationship now is.

I love you completely. I want you to be by my side until time is no more. By my side. Not in front, nor behind. You are my life, my world. Let's bind together and both work for the common interest of continuance. Let's try and be something the world can be proud of, that we can be proud of. Please join me. Love me. Be what I need. I will be what you need. For always.


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