it's still the same

As I think I should write a new blog, I realize that my ponderings are still the same. I am still ready for life to begin. Yet, each day we get farther and farther from all the things I am ready for and longing for. Deeper into debt to hospitals, less and less security and stability, more chaos, more mess, less cohesion and routine and order. So, now I am here and wondering where I could be. Finding solace momentarily in a song, and then plummeting into this absolute pit of nothingness. There just doesn't seem to be a way out, and no one... no one but me really seems to care.