17 months ago, I said that I would enter into a journey with him alone.
12 months ago, he asked me to join him forever.
1 month ago, we joined as one for all to see.
I cannot believe that we said our vows a month ago. It feels like a different world entirely, and one that surely must have taken ages to develop. Still, the same refrains of those asking me how the married life is treating me should bring into focus that it hasn't really been that long.
As much as earlier on I stated that nothing had changed, that we go day by day in the same old fashion... there is another sense there too, that is different.
A sense, that life cannot remain on these tracks or else we will fall off them. That something needs to settle into the way it will be.
I long to establish the things that will last us forever... or... end the current chapter in our lives, and open a new.
I crave a solid foundation and stability, for potentials to be reached and expectations surpassed.
The only thing that has changed, I suppose, is that I am ready.
I am ready for morning each day, I am ready for the tasks ahead.
I am ready to be a mother, a wife.
I am ready to keep a home, and balance a budget, and live a life.
I am ready.
I am ready for the good times, and the bad. I am ready to try and fail before I succeed. I must succeed.
I am ready for a house I can make a home, and for a family to fill its walls.
Though it may be scary, I am ready.
I am ready to be married to a man. A man in the truest sense as I define it. A man, who is ready. A man who is ready to be strong, a man who is ready to be willing. A man who is ready to provide, to conquer. A man who is ready for the morning each day and the tasks at hand. A man who is ready to be a father, and a husband. A man willing to build a home, live within our means, live his life. He must be ready for the good times, and the bad - to fail before he succeeds. He must succeed. He must make our house a home, and be ready for a family to fill its walls.
Though it may be scary, he must be ready.
A month has taught me endurance, patience. It has taught me love, acceptance, and balance. It has taught me comprimise, it has taught me faith. I have learned the importance of good friends, and loving family - and the way it feels to be let down. I have connected, I have reached out, I have worked hard. I have enjoyed the air, the sun, the sky, life and love in all its glory.
Such a small time, such a long time. Who knows how the road unwinds from this point. I only know that now, I am ready. Are you?