Friday, April 29, 2011

The quest for a better me

I've never been one to buy into the theory that a size 4 is ideal. I'd have to remove a leg to fit into that. I'm a fan of my curves, and so is my husband. I'm actually okay that I'm a size 12, and really would never want to be less than a size 8 or so. I'm within the correct weight for my gigantic height, and within all measures of size, I'm doing okay.

But I'm not happy with the way I look.

I never have been, though usually in the past it was based on my smile and my bones protruding everywhere. Well, the braces have come off and the metabolism has slowed down. The birth control I'm on has had me upped in the pounds and my face looks like I'm going through puberty. I'm on a quest to fix it, hormones be damned.

I bought some new face wash, and an at-home peel set. Things are starting to look less like I'm 15, so that's a good start. At the very least I've got a smooth canvas with which to douse in makeup to hide the nonsense.

Today I'm starting to delve into really examining my diet, and upping the water intake. I've only been drinking 2-3 glasses of water a day. So far today, I'm at 6 and on track to hit the 8 goal. This peeing all the damn time thing is kind of annoying, but - it's okay if I can get some pep in my step again.

I need to get fit, balanced, and healthy. That's my goal. Not necessarily to lose weight, but just to become more well rounded...or less rounded, I suppose. If things go well we'll be stopping the birth control in the next few months (fingers crossed, keep us in your prayers) and I want to be in the best shape I can be before we start that journey.

So, here we are today: 22.4 lbs away from my goal weight, 14% away from my ideal fat%. I need to be held accountable, words of support, and helpful motivational tips. I've started down this path so many times, and I've failed so many times. I hope that starting a family will be enough motivation, but the truth is that if John doesn't get promoted it's not going to be happening any time soon...which there goes the real motivation.

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