Monday, December 20, 2010

love conquers all

It's been a few days since John or I have heard from, or spoken of or to the causer of drama. Minus a mass text phone bill reminder. It's been fabulous! I never could have thought that so much pain would end so quickly just by trimming those out of your life related to one individual. I guess that just goes to show that one person sure can create a lot of drama out of nothing, and if that one person no longer exists to you or those you love - no drama exists. Imagine that! It sucks that I had to cut some people I loved out of the equation too, but I am much happier now, so I guess they didn't really love me. That's fine.

John and I are going tomorrow to get our wedding license and will be actually "tying the knot" on Christmas. It's been way too long overdue, but it's the perfect time of year to do it. Come to think of it, I'm not sure why we didn't just plan our wedding for the Christmas season initially. With all the coziness that the season brings out, and the decorations the world provides, it's all so romantic and just perfect. We'll be ringing in the new year as man and wife - legally this time, and I couldn't ask for anything more that I could want.

We're looking at houses, since our apartment lease is up MUCH sooner than we thought. It'll be great to have more space, storage, and a yard! We've got two houses on our initial list, and both are pretty swell - minus the blue carpet in one. Blue carpet, really? I'm definitely excited to take that step, although it'll definitely be more money out, but worth it.

Only thing that brought me down recently was getting my maid of honor dress in the mail. A firm reminder of the end of a great relationship and friendship. A firm reminder of the bad relationship she's in now. So, that was a low point. But, as John notes, the dress is pretty and would make an excellent maternity dress for the baby bump that will hopefully be forming before too long. Silver lining!

I'm happy. Just simply, truly happy. It's been a while since that's happened. Try as they might, they weren't able to break me. Weren't able to break John and I. We're solid and secure, true love is pretty amazing like that. While I might have poor days, it's good to know that at my core I'm with someone that will always love and be there for me. I was completely destroyed by the drama created without any input what so ever from me, but somehow in my name... but I am healing, and quicker than I thought possible. I guess I just ran out of cares for the situation. But you know, quite simply, fuck 'em. I'm over it, and I find it hilarious that some people are desperately trying to hold on. To save face, or something, and even further try to blame their mistakes, weaknesses, and lies on me - as if it were my fault at all. You can blame it on me, everything, if it makes you feel better. Makes no difference to me at all, and if it helps you sleep better at night, by all means. You'll be lying, but since when has lying been an issue for you?

I have rid myself of evil. I have brought in good. I am seeking to maintain peace by perpetuating peace. I am with my true love. I have awesome friends and an amazing family. I'm looking to the future with great hope and anticipation. Each test God has given me has only left me stronger and ultimately happier, and this has been no exception. I am thankful for what I have, and know that I am truly blessed. Thank you to all who have helped me stay strong, and never let me lose sight of myself - I love you.

1 comment:

  1. can you get rid of're always there :P Oh wait! That's the wrong evil.

    Good luck on finding a house, I'm totally jealous of that and wishing that I had real live space again! :) And the job to fund real space haha

    Don't forget to leave doors open. No matter how you feel right now, someday it will be good to find them ajar. Speaking of jars, I tried to seal a jar of <3 for you but I couldn't get the lid to stay on, it was the weirdest thing....