Thursday, December 29, 2005

we fight and fantasize

I suppose it's really the 30th, but all that day stuff confused me on occasion. Clint just left... we had an interesting day I guess you could say. There was a bit of fighting, we cashed my check (a measly $84 and cents), bought the SIMs expansion pack and Rome Total War. We just hung out, but there was too much fighting. We also talked of a house and kids and marriage... so I suppose that evened everything out. I dunno, it really upsets me when we get on each other's nerves. I like us to be happy. Of course, I know that you can't be happy all the time. I just wish that we could be. I guess... we don't get what we want all the time. I love him so much though! He's going to be my husband some day (knock on wood) and we'll be awesome together, like always. I just hope we don't end up growing too far apart our later years. Or do the whole high school sweetheart get married, have kids, kids leave, uh now what? then realize they have nothing together any more. I want to be with him forever and ever! Some people say that we're too young to think of marriage and forever. Well, mainly me. He's 18 and gets more slack since he needs to be making his future now. But, I recently turned 17 and "have so much more to experience." I guess that the one year makes all the difference. The truth is, neither one of us have our lives together, set up or ready to go at a moment's notice. I think the only constant and unshakable factor in either one of our lives is the love and devotion we have towards one another. Maybe it won't last through college, but we need each other to take us that far. Love is what will keep us sane up to that point. If we need to part paths, I'm sure we will... grudgingly and in agony, but none the less we can do what is inevitable. I hope that the inevitable road is one shared by Clint and I, and ends well, together. No one knows just what the future holds, though they try. I think we should just throw caution to the wind and let life lead us down whatever path God has intended for us. That's really all we're doing anyway, even if we try and fight it.. hey, it's inevitable right?

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