Sunday, June 12, 2011

Friday was quite a night. Met and remet a lot of people... had some interesting conversations I'm sure (and in some cases hoping) aren't remembered as the weekend draws to an end.

Corey told the truth for once in the past 7 months... and apologized for being who he is. It's a good first step, but it definitely is only a first step. I hope that he continues to speak the truth and to tell all those he's lied to the reality of situations. I am very cautiously hopeful that he will work on changing into something good.

Brittany and I didn't talk about anything related to the madness of the past... I don't know if we need to, really. I'm sure at some point if we are to  move forward, there might need to be a conversation... but really, I think that we would end up being apart forever if we really got into it at all. With us, I think it's best if we just try and put the past behind us. There were definitely grievances made, and huge mistakes, and throwing things away that had meant so much. If we were to talk about it, I don't know... it seems like for the most part it was all done behind the curtain. Maybe that was the problem to begin with. She shielded her emotions and intentions from me, and I shielded the truth and knowledge I had from her and so we are both so at fault for the way things got started, and then for the way they continued.

I do hope that Corey maintains his new face into the future, and does not relapse as he is prone to do. Maybe this time, he actually means the apologies, maybe this time he really is trying to change. I guess for now I just have to wait and see. He's apologized for his errors so many times before, we've had the same make up just to break up again mentality between our worlds. Never has he erred so greatly or caused such a rift or so much pain. So, never was his apology so hard to believe. So, I will take it step by step. I will try to forgive, but I will never forget. For now, I have his statement of pure intentions and of righting wrongs and we will see how it all plays out. I've known him for three years now, and I think he's been in good graces less than half of that time. Yet, for the sake of all those involved I will try. I do not think we will ever be friends again, but... perhaps we can be better than enemies of one another.

No comments:

Post a Comment