I can surmise things based on prior things, but none of it really makes sense to me.... *GRUMBLE* Did I, by proxy, break something? Or am I just being egotistical in thinking that this could in any small way be related to me. I'm going with the fact that the next entry reads very angry and fuck this I'm out, that perhaps as I got him into it, in a way it's not just my overinflated (at the moment) ego reigning in to say hello. The next bit goes to mention of who is jealous, and why? There is only one person who would fit this mold, I think... but there is no why to go behind it. Then I wonder if it was all just misinterpretation. Jealous over ooglers or something is one thing (and was what I was referring to in priorness), A...sort of friendship I suppose you could say that was barely even forming, and more just based on a muse..is an entirely different thing which no jealousy should arise from.. there's no chains holding me down, darling.
In sharing his blog, it led to mine, which caused a smidgen of inspiration. The revelation of honesty and vagueness to protect the innocent and guilty alike. It really has felt to me like as soon as I through it into the open waves of the internet that I am washed of it. Or, cleansed by it and therefore able to not dwell on things which would weigh me down. It's nice to have that feeling. Why shouldn't he have it too?
I just got so tired of fitting this mold that everyone seemed to have, sitting in their cage with my wings clipped. I long to fly free and without inhibitions slowing me down. The dueling between two sides has always raged within me, but I found it interesting that someone who seemed so sure of themselves, and so seemingly intact could feel the same. Gave me a shot of hope. Now, because of something, that I don't even know, I don't get that insight anymore. Hmph. Oh well, I suppose. It really is each to his own. Still... I am left wondering how I can fix it. When I don't even know that I am the problem, and I am more than likely not. If I can fix it, you'll know what this whole ramble was about, let me know? Or, just pick up your insightful ramblings - public for mine eye to read, or private in your own world, you shouldn't stop.